Being What I Always Wanted To Be.....

I remember a time when knowledge was fun for me. Being intelligent was my idea of boasting. Falling sick for a day made me sicker when I realized that I won't be allowed to go to school today. When 'Library hour' was actually 'Library hour' and when time was packed! And now...knowledge gaining is just about what is required. It becomes a liability to be aware about things. Life is too busy to enjoy music, watch movies or if nothing...just lay idle. I can't compare the phases. Because the scenario is too difficult to recreate. But then...something has changed. Something has either upgraded/downgraded. But there has definitely been a change. At times, I wonder if this all means that I have changed. I do not realize when my habits overpower my persona...and ... I am swapped! All I feel is that small things create big differences at times. Differences which should not differ us from the last time we understood ourselves. Rest of the life is just awesome! :...

"Running away is not a solution"... I always knew that. Hence I moved on. In the beginning it was like I thought that I had moved on. Then gradually, I was told that I have definitely moved on. Eventually, I absorbed that Yes ...I have moved on. But I believe its a relative term. And erasing doesn't really describe it contrary to the expectations. I have what I deserved. And I feel content with it. But the idea of "What if"  always allures me. My well-wishers doesn't really appreciate my "greedy" notion but sometimes it just keeps me going. You never know what you really desired...what you actually wanted till the time you have lived a life over it. That doesn't mean that you got stuck somewhere. Its just that it was always a kind of trail. An invisible one. I know I am sounding mysterious. But believe me...thats not the intention at all. It is how I am feeling. And its how I am able to express. Is that a crime?