DAY 264 (For starters...respect yourself)
I have seen people being really hurt over not being respected enough. Be it at home, at workplace or amongst relatives. They want to be understood in the way that they think they are not right now but for that they just don't know what to do.
I always suggest those who come to me with this problem to first respect yourself. If she is a housewife, she thinks that she isn't contributing to household expenses and thus she deserves to be taken for granted. Has she ever thought for all those hours when the financier of the household is toiling outside, she is holding the storm all alone inside the 4 walls. When he comes back home, he would never even know the importance of things being at place, warm food at table or kids doing well at school. And all he does is, provides the money for maintenance. I am not saying that it is any less of a task. But your partner's day's in was just as tedious as was your day out. Some people just conveniently ignore this fact.
Then there are some who are doing the 2-shift job. Getting disrespected at an 8-hour job outside and then inside home for the rest 16-hours. Well, it is true that you can't make excuses of lagging behind in your tasks at the workplace because your kid didn't sleep last night or you were busy helping in his art project till midnight. But then you are human too. You are expected to be as competent as men yet not paid as enough as them or being looked upon as a waste resource if you are about to go on a maternity leave. The responsibilities in these disrespects are often not divided equally amongst the 2 genders at workplace or at home and thus comes the under-confidence of not being able to excel. If you try to focus at one of these things, the other loses balance and the result is not good even then.
There is also a third category which is disrespected by society just because their definition of settling down is different than others. Marriage or having kids might not be just a way of settling down. But it is just not acceptable by the society and they become the third category of victims on the disrespected list. Everyone thinks there is something wrong in this list of people and make speculation around without having any business in the matter.
Coincidentally, 2 out of 3 of these problems were women-eccentric. However, I am sure and I know for a fact that there are many more such problems that men face too. But, it doesn't matter whoever you are or what you do, you just shouldn't lose respect for yourself in any situation in life. Your conditions in life are your decision and no one ever patted you when you were doing well in these conditions. Respect matters but not from the disrespectful ones. You need to move on and build a life of your own where you are answerable to only yourself and not anyone else who just passes time by being judgmental.
Life is great... you just need to discover your greatness.
I always suggest those who come to me with this problem to first respect yourself. If she is a housewife, she thinks that she isn't contributing to household expenses and thus she deserves to be taken for granted. Has she ever thought for all those hours when the financier of the household is toiling outside, she is holding the storm all alone inside the 4 walls. When he comes back home, he would never even know the importance of things being at place, warm food at table or kids doing well at school. And all he does is, provides the money for maintenance. I am not saying that it is any less of a task. But your partner's day's in was just as tedious as was your day out. Some people just conveniently ignore this fact.
Then there are some who are doing the 2-shift job. Getting disrespected at an 8-hour job outside and then inside home for the rest 16-hours. Well, it is true that you can't make excuses of lagging behind in your tasks at the workplace because your kid didn't sleep last night or you were busy helping in his art project till midnight. But then you are human too. You are expected to be as competent as men yet not paid as enough as them or being looked upon as a waste resource if you are about to go on a maternity leave. The responsibilities in these disrespects are often not divided equally amongst the 2 genders at workplace or at home and thus comes the under-confidence of not being able to excel. If you try to focus at one of these things, the other loses balance and the result is not good even then.
There is also a third category which is disrespected by society just because their definition of settling down is different than others. Marriage or having kids might not be just a way of settling down. But it is just not acceptable by the society and they become the third category of victims on the disrespected list. Everyone thinks there is something wrong in this list of people and make speculation around without having any business in the matter.
Coincidentally, 2 out of 3 of these problems were women-eccentric. However, I am sure and I know for a fact that there are many more such problems that men face too. But, it doesn't matter whoever you are or what you do, you just shouldn't lose respect for yourself in any situation in life. Your conditions in life are your decision and no one ever patted you when you were doing well in these conditions. Respect matters but not from the disrespectful ones. You need to move on and build a life of your own where you are answerable to only yourself and not anyone else who just passes time by being judgmental.
Life is great... you just need to discover your greatness.
Fundamental thing is we cant be superman/woman everywhere. The few ones who come out and say things like "I am a CEO and i am a mother too" dont give credit to the support they got from others or miss out on telling the sacrifices they or the children or the friends/family did.
ReplyDeleteTaking care of home is equally toiling as going out and working to earn that salary, but I have seen women taking this for granted. I am playing a devil's advocate here. These women think its the man's job to feed and so they do and they can relax at home. Well, it all comes to how the society has fed us with such ideas.
Then there are these folks who think couple not having kids or singles not getting married are irresponsible or selfish and what not. Bull shit! Their choice, their decisions.
In the end; everyone deserves respect.; irrespective of what they are or are not.
Everyone faces disrespect, disregard, taken for granted attitude at many points in life from all kinds of people. It troubles the most when it comes from few who matter to you. To the extent that you begin to wonder what it is to respect or disrespect somebody.
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed a revelation when you realise, all that should matter to you is what you think of yourself and how you deal with it. Respect yourself, love yourself, make yourself your first priority (sounds selfish) but unless you are happy how can you spread happiness!