Day 295 (The unsolicited advices)

So it’s been a tough month for various reasons and one of those are the unsolicited advices that I have got in last couple of weeks for my 3 year old. 

There is a phase when you are new at parenting and you can’t make head and tail out of any simple or complicated thing thrown your way. During that phase, you seek help and advices and that time you get all abstract advices. Like for anything related to your kid’s health, do not go to a doctor, go to a priest. For anything behaviour related to your kid, don’t try to reason it, just tell the kid this is how it’s done. So over the time you realise that though some things are very precious and exclusive in terms of the years of experience the other people have but it’s always safer to make your own experiences if you really don’t consider those people to be your role models for parenting.

Then you start taking your own calculated risks in taking decisions about your kid. Like following only doctor’s advices, or following only home remedies and when to rush to emergency and when it’s not needed, stuff like that. 

Now when you are doing well and you are neither seeking help nor advices, there are still times when you are still struggling with some situations and maybe you have a really helpless phase and even though you might vent out what’s going on if asked by the right person at the right time, but you are still not asking for advice. That’s understood by very few wise souls. And all the other unwise souls are a part of my life probably. 

So the last week or maybe a couple of days have been gyan-centric on what we do wrong, what we didn’t do, why our child is wrong in the situation we are in, and what not. All I want to scream is… I did not ask for your advice so please stop being my god-father/mother. What’s disheartening is that sometimes I take it or I leave it to that when the other person is commenting about my parenting (because let’s face it… I do have a lot of flaws) and but I really can’t take it if someone comments on my kid! And it makes me disrespect myself so so much when I can’t defend my kid in front of others just because I was cranky that day or my sobs overcame my anger. 

Moreover, the biggest flaw in parenting is probably to give space to anyone to know your child’s problems and then comment or advice on it. So a thumb rule should be not to share it because you never know what can come your way as a follow up of that sharing. 

So this and that, and then some more. But the unsolicited advices is what made up the blog.