Day 307 (Closing thoughts)

While the year 2022 is coming to an end, I felt that I should oblige to another one of my forgotten hobby..blogging.

I think this is one of those years where I wrote the least, read the most and did a lot of things that I never imagined I would.

I read around 30 books this year and 31st still in the read and I got to understand something about myself. While I try to explore the spirituality in me by reading, trying to understand and then finally accepting few concepts of beyond life and death and the true awakening, I am also equally interested in the self-help books which tell me how to live a happier and healthier life, how to have better habits, how to fit in the circle of life of which I am trying to get rid of. It is ironical and tells me straight in the eye how far away I am from any kind of awakening and spiritual growth. 

I have participated in more sports in this year than I have participated in total in my young life (which was the right time of participation) and that told me that there was a side of me that I did not know I had for most of the first half of my life. Sometimes opportunities come in your way and teach you something about yourself you absolutely thought you knew.

I have met more people this year than I have met and had acquaintance with in the last whole decade I believe. And this is a fun fact when I am pretty social or atleast I thought I was. But now I truly understand what being social is and sometimes I wonder if I truly am a social person. Now that I understand or maybe understanding the hooks and nooks of being in one room or one place of more than 4-5 people, I sometimes zone out and ask myself if I am where I should be? Am I fitting here? Do I need this? What was it that they were talking? And then on other times, I am just elated that I am finally getting to be a part of some gatherings which qualify to be a social gathering. I know that this is ironical too.

I have become more calmer this year than I ever was. I know retrospection outside dictionary now. I believe in doing good and being treated the same every single instance. I believe in not judging people and truly allowing them to be as they are who they are and there is no right and wrong in that. I believe in evolving.

I have moved on from my expectations from every single soul on this earth. It is pretty hard to disappoint me. But please don't take it as a challenge!

I believe and I am truly trying to do something for the greater good. I don't know what have I done this year that counts and even if I knew something that counts, I wasn't going to blog about it. But I absolutely believe that this should be atleast somewhere in the order of priority of every human being.

I have been a pretty disappointing mother this year compared to the last 3 years of my motherhood. I can't pin point a single problem of my child that I single-handedly solved, I could not be with him as much as I was the last 3 years, I did not teach him a single new thing which was a remarkable achievement and honestly, most of the times I bore him. I have no action plan as of now, but I intend to not continue like this next year.

I have found new true friends and I have lost few friends. I have learned to appreciate the blessing and be thankful to what I had till I had. Losing someone in life or death should not take away the happiness they brought with you when they were there.

I mended some lost relations and I forgave almost everyone. I feel so light. Its just an unnecessary heavy baggage that we carry and forgiveness is liberating.

So this was about me as of 20th Dec 2022. And I don't anticipate anything ground-breaking for next 10 days. These were my closing thoughts of the year with a bunch of open ended questions to myself. 

I hope and I wish that you all had a great year and you all retrospect and become a better soul with time. We all are connected and I am sure we will cross paths in flesh someday too. 

Till then..cheers to 2023! :-)