DAY 316 (Hear, Hear!)

 Have you ever experienced the pain of being unheard? 

  • You are talking to your elders pouring your heart out and they are just mindlessly nodding their heads and sometimes even not that.
  • You are in a room full of people where you are at the table as part of a decision maker but people talk over you or repeat the same things you said and getting acknowledged while it seems your voice didn't reach them?
  • You are talking to your children and they shut the door on your face or after 5 mins ask you to repeat what you said because they were not listening?
  • Your texts being read but are not replied to?
  • Your spouse engaging you in a guessing game where you guess whether he/she heard you or not because you don't get any response?

How do you deal with such situations? How to be heard? How to be respected when you speak?

Some people might say talking is an art. You need to learn how to say what you want to say so as it makes an impact. Okay. I can agree with this for a public speaking situation. But do we really need to change ourselves to be heard in our day-to-day routine?

It's unfortunate that I hear this pain being faced mostly by women. I am not disregarding any man who faces this but I have not come across any man (yet) who faces the unheard syndrome.

What if one day women take charge and decide to turn the table? Let us play the guessing game. Let us talk over others' sentences. Let us see texts and not reply. But we cannot even survive for 24 hours with this behavior. 2 reasons:
1) We are sensitive and value others' emotions.
2) We are genetically talkers. We feel it is natural or basic manners to respond to anyone who is talking to you.

Over the years, this behavior repeated by your environment or community towards you can make you go into a shell or make you a non-talker which is not as healthy as turning into a non-smoker.
Small gestures can change someone's lives for good and for bad. Your next generation looks at you and learns from you. This includes "shutting the door" syndrome. You would have done it and kid picked up from you.

I have seen people turning from extroverts to introverts in a matter of few years. I have seen people suffering within themselves and stop asking for solutions. I have seen people stop trying.

This is the worst we can do as humans to other humans. 

Be sensitive. Be responsive. Reply. Talk. Hear. 
It does not take as much toll as you think.

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