Being What I Always Wanted To Be.....

I am a feminist who believes women shouldn’t be treated special because they are women. Instead they should he treated equal as men or any human being. But time and again, in various families I see simple yet complicated things happening for women all around. You become a sister to a brother, you are expected to give him special treatment, respect him, give away your things to him without nagging because he is your ‘brother’. You become a wife and you are expected to leave away your past life, forget your parents on festivities or wish them on call as you wish all other of your friends and relatives. You are expected to change yourself according to the new family. You are expected to be respectful even if it means giving away your self respect. All this and more in trade for a good husband and sometimes women are unlucky enough to not even get that. You become a mother and then you are expected to give up whatever little was left of you which maybe you had with courtesy to your ...

So all trips of Mom and MIL are done and now starts the solo (or rather duet) trip of raising the kiddo. Nervous? Yes. Excited? Hell.. yes! Scared? Ummm... a little bit. We often don’t count the small things. Someone Opening the door while you are nursing the baby, telling the cook today’s menu while you are rocking the baby, sleeping for a couple of hours in the morning while Dadi/Nani have the kiddo time. It seems so small that you think it’s easy as hell to do it along with the other big things you have been doing. But well...we will know in few days how easy or small it is. Whatever maybe the case... it’s gonna be a solo trip from here on and there is no going back! Kiddo will get bigger, naughtier, more demanding and what not... but you will always be that timid mother who is still learning... Sigh!

So when the kid is born and you are fighting PPD/baby blues, they will tell you it gets easier after 3 months. When 3 months are nearing and you don’t see even a hint of it being easy, they will say it gets easier after 5 months. Probably when you will reach 5 months, timeline will increase to an year. The truth is it never gets easier... you just get used to of it. There are good days and bad days. Maybe bad days are in minority but you will always find them longer and never-ending. Some days you will fall in the trap of the myth that you have mastered it all!  You know what he needs and when he needs it. But the kid will change the trick right then! And you have to start from zero. In times like this, listen to only your partner and be in touch with only positive people. There will be people who will be happy in your misery and wish you ill when you are doing good. Mostly these people are in abundance. Never regret having taken help from anyone in this difficult phase even i...

No book, no mother, no mil and no experienced friend would tell you this.... being a mom is a hell lot tiring and depressing in the first phase than you expected. Your personality has gone to ashes. There is no you. All you know and remember is... your child’s last feeding time and next feeding time. You won’t remember your hobbies, your likes or your dislikes even if someone forced you to remember it.  Your confidence would be way below the previous highs you touched. You will be all time stressed and you can’t explain why to anyone. This and much more... But trust me... never once would you regret having that tiny little bundle of joy in your arms. All those breast feeding sessions will be worth it when he takes a big burp! All depression would vanish when he licks your face and laughs. All stress would go away when you dress him in those new set of  clothes. And your only hobby would be to talk endlessly with him when he is in his playtime mode :-) So hang in there mom...

Dear husband, First of all congratulations to both of us on becoming the proud parents of our little boy. I want to let you know that you have been as amazing father in those 37+ weeks when our boy was growing inside me and these 6 days when he has been in our lives kicking, crying and sleeping. He is our little bundle of joy and a gift to you for your this birthday and all the ones coming up in the years ahead. I see so much of you in him that sometimes I am overwhelmed with how lucky I am to have 2 of you in my lives making it happier every second of each day. The way you look at him or the way he loves you back is just so dreamy sometimes. You have been so amazing to have always been an equal partner in this new phase of life. It was never my pregnancy, it was ours! Its never just my sleepless nights of breast feeding, its your burping duty sleepless nights too. Our together learning to change diapers, knowing what he wants and when he wants has been a ‘together’ graph too. And ye...

So.. Day 267 took a lot of days or rather months to come along..didn't it? Why? Well because I have been pregnant all this while (still am!) and its a rather busy job ! So today I am to discuss my experience with this sometimes-happy-sometimes-crazy ride with you guys. Well where do I start? ...From the starting I guess? The first time when you suspect and you know that you are expecting, its an ecstatic feeling! It changes so much inside you. Something just turns in your heart. From that moment on, whether you believe it or not, you are a mom and he is a dad! Then you start dreading what's gonna happen to your body, your health. You remember all those things you saw in TV or heard while people discussed. She was puking all the time. She was on bed-rest whole 9 months. And you are praying to God to give you strength to cope with all this. You go all geeky and become a researcher of pregnancy. And internet confuses you so much. Someone says this will happen, other one s...