DAY 147 (Being in this state of mind...)

Someone told me once that you should never leave anything incomplete without giving it your 100% atleast in one of the attempts. And since then... I did the same.

I gave 100% to all my relationships...everyone whom I met in my life...be it a friend, a relative, a stranger or anyone. And what a pity...till today I cannot decide which one have ended and which one have still heartbeats left in it. I did all I could to make it the best out of me. Thats all I knew. But then, everything doesn't work on assumptions.

I never say that I have done something extraordinary but I just wanna see someone else apart from me doing it once. I never say that I couldn't have done better but I just wanna ensure that it would have made any difference. I am unable to find the right adjective. Is it brutality or is it disgust?

Moreover, my senses tell me that I should be far...far away from all this. All that I am thinking or I choose to think preferably. But..you know, this sensibility doesn't make any difference. I do what I shouldn't and I choose to suffer henceforth.

Life has been really crazy....I tell you. Probably..all I need is just a break!

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