Being What I Always Wanted To Be.....

Some people are just too nosy or feel they should be advising in everyone's business. And I often come across such people here and there. This was a couple of months ago, when someone I acquainted over a game of table tennis got to know that I write blogs. He asked me many times to share the link. I pretended to have forgotten to share but then shared it eventually when he pinged me a couple of times over chat. So, he read my blog for which I did not expect any feedback, but he takes the pain to give it to me. There was this blog I wrote about my husband a while back which titled "Disadvantages of having a sane husband". He asked if the incidents I quoted there actually happened or I just made them up. I just replied it happened ofcourse. He laughed over it and then came to the advisory business. He tells me, if he were me, he would use a lighter shade for my blog theme if I want others to read without straining their eyes. Well, I can appreciate your negative comments...

I am a possessive friend. First of all I won't be good friends with you unless I absolutely fantastically like you. But once I am in, you might wanna get out of my zone because of my suffocating love for you. I know it sounds scary..but well I am scary when it comes to attachment. I can't tolerate you not replying my messages or replying after hours when I am always online for you and by always I literally mean 24x7. I can't tolerate even more when it is because of some other friend of yours whom I really hate ! I can't tolerate you doing something wrong and me not being able to scold you because of your dominant behaviour. I can't tolerate you being all friendly with someone who is clearly not your type and you just want to be on good terms with him for no good reason. I can't tolerate you making me go silent all the time because you have just decided not to share what's going on and neither do you let me ask too. I can't tolerate you suddenly ...

Sometimes, I feel that over the time, my strengths have become my weaknesses and vice versa. Sentimentality most of the times, cost more than you can afford and it has indebted me time and again. Some bonds give you the feeling of 'forever'. There is no replacement. But over the time, when you grow up, your expressing powers fade away and you are not really good at words anymore. All you do gets translated to duties rather than affection. It is hurtful and aches you to your core. But you just don't want to give up. However, there are times when one should realize when your affection is not really pleasing the other person. You share from your part but they don't feel like reciprocating. You still think of them to give all the "first-news", but they hear it like a news-feed rather than a sharing. At these times, you should know to step down. What care is it if its not pleasant enough. What affection is it if it just acts as a last string of hope between yo...

Many things to say on various topics and I really do not want to split it in different blogs. So here I go... I find so many people out there who have the talent but no motivation to do something about it. They wait for the right time, right day, right weather not realizing that it might never come. What I feel personally is, all you need for motivation is to tell yourself "Lets do it!". Let us not think about the time needed, the after-effects, the day, the weather. Just go for it. You wanna paint, paint ! If you don't have the brushes, sketch. Once you start it, everything else you needed will get into your lap. You will get it into your lap. There are some, who would do little but project wider. I sometimes wonder how their conscious allows them to do it. It is not just professional life that's being pointed out here. It becomes their habit to do it in everyday tasks. Did you drink your milk? Yes one glass full! Though it was half a glass. Does it make sense t...

Some people get to your nerves by their sarcasm, some by their stupidity, some by their personality. But the grammatically incorrect ones are the worst! Just talk in the language you are comfortable with and if it is absolutely necessary to murder English, take a soft skill training or something so that it is alteast not a first-degree murder and you can get away by a 10 years sentence or so. The jumbled words, the invisible punctuation, Noun(s) being used as verbs and vice versa. There is this other habit of people adding "The" before everything! The laptop, the issue (read isssssuuuu), the India, The Supriya, The, The, The ! Well do you guys think, with your all those "the", your statement will sound heavier or more important or its just that you learnt that you can't form a sentence without it? Another trait is, to just talk in the same accent as your mother tongue. So it becomes Hindi-English, Bhojpuri-English, Bengali-English, Oriya-English, etc etc...

All those parents whom I see abandoning their children the moment they do a mistake or go out of the rule-book...I hate you all ! How do you expect your children to live their life by a to-do and don't-do list and then excel in their life? Did you never make any mistakes or did any experiments when you were young? Or were they all so successful that you can't accept a defeat? Guiding your child is good, but beating them up or scaring the shit out of them to confess their fault is as bad as it can be. If they don't fall, how do you expect them to get up? If life is all rosy for them, then how do you expect them to face the realities when they grow up? Some of these parents have the logic that when they were young and did mistakes, they were beaten up like a street dog by their parents and comparatively they are lenient to their children now. Just for your knowledge guys, its not about being lenient or strict. Your parents were wrong and so are you. You can't impos...

It is not easy to expose yourself to the outside world when you are missing someone so badly. You don't want to talk about it, you are unable to act it out and people's questions just won't stop. You engage yourself in all sorts of things. You read a lot, write a lot, watch movies, maybe even go out alone. But what good does it do? Maybe a few hours of  help? As soon as you are off of these engagements, you again start looking at the calendar, the watch and just try to kill time. It wears you off. And that's all the more reason you don't want to express it. Sometimes, if nothing, you try to root cause or worse, curse the reason of being away. But then again, either those are excuses or the reasons not good enough. I believe there is no threshold time for which you can justify your sadness or appreciate anyone else's. It can be an hour away from someone, a week, a month or an year. It just won't matter because time simply multiplies itself exponent...

I still have you with me. In all those talks of yours which made me laugh. Your passion for cricket and our weekend playoffs. Our meetup on Saturday lunch and sharing the plate of chicken. Your attempt to speak Hindi and your laugh on my attempt in Tamil. Your guidance when I was stuck somewhere professionally or personally. Our cubicle jokes and the whispers. Chatting with you on the monitor even if you are just sitting behind me. The discussions, the bitching, the gossip, the laughs. The morning and evening tea that tasted good only with you. The unburdening of uncompleted tasks. Sharing with you if I am bunking and vice versa. Sharing "How was the weekend" and going on for hours and hours. Your dosas which made my breakfast tastier than ever. Your empty promises of cooking chicken for me someday. Our hollow plans of taking you to Lucknow for shopping. Sharing small things as and when it happened. The impromptu small treats demanding and giving for silly t...

We are the ones who are just beyond "too-sensitive". We cry when it is not required. We get hurt on jokes. We expect too much. We do beyond expectations. This is most of the times a problem. And all that happens is that you just hurt yourself. We tell ourselves to be stronger. All people who are nice to you are not necessarily your friends. Those who are your friends are not necessarily like you. You need to accept people as they are ....including yourself. If things go wrong that is because they were meant to be. It is not always that you are at fault. You did what you could. You tried your best. Everything doesn't work out the way you want it to work. But still, we cry a lot. Expect a lot. Get hurt a lot. And if someone asks us why? We simply say.. because we are "September born".

Sometimes you want to give it all for someone. Their pain hurts you. Their uneasiness gives you sleepless nights. You want to be the happy factor for them, love them, impress them, die for them if need be. But things don't turn out the way you want. Sometimes your love expresses in the form of possessiveness, your care feels like suffocation. All you have in your heart is just good. But it does not matter. Apart from this sadness, the world also hits you back with random things in tough times. You won't see it coming but it hits you with lightning speed and you are left with a broken jaw. Your bones crackle, muscles ache, you get a dry mouth and you just don't know how to get out of it. You get amazed seeing that you would have gone out of length for so many people had the table been reversed. But you can't be amazed at the fact that everyone is not like you. Actually good that they are not like you because they would not have been able to handle it. It is a courag...

So there is this big disadvantage of having a super-good husband. The whole world starts treating you more moronically than you actually are. Be it your family. The same set of family who were really not sure of making him their son-in-law, now in every unbeatable argument of mine punches back saying, let us talk to him about it, he will understand. He is more matured. Those set of friends. For any stupid or I-don't-care topics if I am not agreeing with them as much as they want, they want him to be dragged. It does not matter if he has a background also or not. It does not matter that it will take all the more time to get him on the same page. And it does not even matter if he is interested also or not. But since he is supposed to be  The Right Person , he has to come in. Every decision of mine has to be discussed with him according to public vote. Every advice that I seek and ask only a certain set of people comes back saying, don't ask us, you have such a great husban...

To all those aunties on airports and railway stations... I don't know what you see in us that you can stare at us without blinking for hours. It doesn't matter if we are seeing off someone or travelling ourselves. You will judge us by our clothes, our physique, who we are with, how we are behaving and god forbid if we hug or kiss someone while seeing off you will file an FIR against us at the back of your mind. You make us more uncomfortable than those lafangey ladkey  of roadside because atleast we know the reason of their attention. For what hell of a purpose you are staring at our asses, I have no clue. And then when there is a queue, please understand that it will move. What power comes inside you which makes it necessary to punch us by your 15kgs elbows (each) to win a race which is actually not a race. For an airbus which will hardly take 2-3 minutes to drop you at the plane, you fight by literally wrestling us down and get a seat. If you are fit enough to wrestle and ...

Everyone has their tough time. And every time we feel that this one is hardest of all times. Some people go philosophical and some people refuse to admit that they have gone philosophical. But in either case, you get to know your friends. Sometimes, it so happens that you never realised your friendship with certain people till a hard time arrives. Suddenly when you are catching your breath, you find yourself clutched to their shoulder for support. And then there are those friends for whom you were not able to find time and suddenly now you demand all their time and they are there for you. Do you think you will value this support forever as much as you are valuing it now? You better do. Because these are the blessings that you have got. And only blessings work in tough times. It punches me in the stomach to realise that why I didn't do more for all of these friends when I had the chance. Why did I concentrate on only few of them. But I can't bring back time and amend that...