DAY 23 (....???????????.....)


Ohhhhhhh.....let me take a deep breath first of all....phewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...!!

Yeah now I can talk...!!!
 God...spending almost 36 hours with a 5 year old kid is like spending all the energy altogether what you stored for the next whole week. You laugh at the silliness....you get irritated at another round of hide and seek....and you are so scared for your laptop...!!! But...at the end... the day goes REFRESHING..!! Yes..thats the word...

These 36 hours were not only refreshing and energetic but also surprising and unexpected for me....!!! I and one of my friend who had stopped talking due to some personal matter re-united once again. The step was taken by her and not me. I call it self respect....maybe someone else would call it an ego. But yes on the whole it was an unexpected out of the blue reunion..!!!

The differences were huge...and the step taken was a tiny little one ....but that accounted for much longer distances. It happens...generally so many times...that when we think of something and get troubled by it for a long duration..it doesn't get resolved...but then...one day you realize that it really took an unbelievable short span to unlock it!!!

I can't really differentiate it with right or wrong...good or bad...but all I am feeling is just scary..!!! Positive things create doubts in my mind too at times...especially when you can't really convince me the timing. And thats probably stupid of me...but thats me!

There is one more uncertain and can't-be-termed-as-good quality in me...that so many times I say that now I am not going do it (anything in general) ever in the future. But you know "NEVER" never stays with me for long! If I say..for example...that I am never going to talk to him/her now....but if after some days or months or years that person comes back with pure heart and true apology,everything just goes off like that....as if nothing ever happened..!!!

My friend,philospher and guide (Akansha) says that its just an opinion...a part of my behaviour that exists inside me...
There is nothing wrong or right in it..and I get consoled easily with this too!!! Why not??? If something proves my act of wisdom right...then why not??? But...when I think on the deeper theory,I just get entangled in the web of mixed thoughts...
Like right now....left again with a big question mark.....

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